


Guilt Is A Nasty Thing

by Visionsofdazzlingrooms



Series: Blue Bloods: Episode Fix [10]
Category: blue bloods
Genre: 1x18 and 5x22 and 6x16, Analysis, F/M, OOC, Poor Linda, Request filled, To tell the truth, art of war - Freeform, help me help you, my thoughts, sort of episode tag, why was Danny so ooc?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27510865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Visionsofdazzlingrooms/pseuds/Visionsofdazzlingrooms
Summary: Why was Danny so mean to Linda after she got shot? Why was this time different from when she got kidnapped? What changed in the scenarios, in his behavior?
Relationships: Danny Reagan/Linda Reagan
Series: Blue Bloods: Episode Fix [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983686
Comments: 55
Kudos: 3





	Guilt Is A Nasty Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hellfire32](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellfire32/gifts).



> So Hellfire32 and I have been discussing Danny’s behavior in season six. She’s been asking me my thoughts on this subject, which is why you’re seeing a lot of season six episode fixes

He stared at the unidentifiable yellow stain in the corner of the room. He just stared at it, his mind blank. How could this happen? Why did this happen? Why didn't they let him see her? Even for two seconds, just long enough to say "I love you."

Danny took in a shaky breath. I love you. When was the last time he had said that? Had he said it that morning? When he texted to say he wasn't going make it for dinner? At lunch, had he said it, when he called her to see how she was doing? He made a vow- to say I love you more often and more spontaneously. To say it when bidding goodbye, but also when she was cooking dinner or curling her hair. 

The yellow in the corner began to blur as he thought back to the time he almost lost her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~  
April 1, 2011

It was cold outside, as to be expected from April in New York. His breath froze as he stood by the dumpster, his hands shoved in his pockets. The love of his life was at the hands of a merciless killer. And for what? Because he was going to testify, and Salazar was scaring him off. 

And kidnapping his wife was a perfect way to get him to back off.... right. As if he wasn't going to break every law to get her back; he'd do anything  
to get her back by his side. Anything to have her in his arms again, to see her blonde hair and electric blue eyes. 

The nerves took over and he hurled his breakfast. No amount of nerves or nausea was going to keep him from obsessively searching for her. 

Many hours later, Danny found Linda gagged and bound. The sight nearly made him hurl, but he immediately dropped to his knees to help her. She clung to him once the ropes were gone from her wrists, and tears fell from both their eyes. 

At home, Linda took a bath. She frantically scrubbed the dirt and grime off till her skin was raw. Danny stopped her from hurting herself, rubbing her arm. He dragged the wash cloth she was using over her skin, relaxing her. 

Linda was the one who initiated that round of sex, needing to feel loved and protected. Danny was more than happy to give it to her, especially because he needed to know she was really here, in his arms. 

They had made love that night- boy, had they made love. Danny worshipped his wife's perfect body until she couldn't remember her own name. She walked funny the next days, and had nightmares for two weeks. She still had nightmares from that day, but they were few and far between.

~~~~~~~~~

“What was she doing between bullets?” Did he say that out loud?

No one could answer that, and no one could bring him comfort. Slowly, he was losing his composure. More silent tears fell, scenarios of ‘what if’ swarmed his brain, nausea came and went. He needed to be strong for the boys, for Jack and Sean. They didn’t know about the kidnapping- they had been too young. They were still too young of someone would ask Danny. They were way too young to be caught in the middle. 

And why Linda of all people? Why the sweetest, kindest, strongest person out there? Why was she knocked down? What had she done? Why this sick situation? 

He failed. That’s why. He failed at protecting her. It was his job to protect her from demons out in the world and demons hidden inside her. She wasn’t supposed to be in that operating room, fighting for her life. She was supposed to be at home, in his arms, watching one of those Sunday night Movie Mysteries from the seventies. 

It felt like an entire life time since they had taken her away from him. And where the hell was his dad? Danny looked at the clock, it was almost midnight. Five hours. Five hours; what the hell had gone wrong? It shouldn’t take five hours to remove two bullets. He needed air, needed to breath, needed to get out. 

Danny found himself in a similar place he was in four years ago. He was by the dumpsters, wondering if his whole world would crash down around him. Linda was his rock, his anchor, his life support. She was the oxygen he breathed, like that New Kids song she liked. 

When Danny came back inside, he was surprised to see half an hour had passed. And still no sign of Frank. Where was that man? 

Danny had barely listened to the doctor when he came out. As soon as the detective heard “she’s alive and is in recovery” he tuned out. That was all he needed to hear. Linda was alright. Linda was recovering. Linda was alive. 

“Can I see her?” He interrupted the doc.

“Not until she wakes up.”

“But she’ll be scared.” She probably wouldn’t, but Danny was desperate. “She’ll want me there.”

Henry gave the doctor a look that said Danny wouldn’t let up unless he was with his wife. So the doctor relented and let Danny sit in the room until she woke up. 

That probably wasn’t Danny’s best decision, because he felt even more guilty as soon as he saw all the monitors and wires hooked to her. She was pale and looked tired, but not in-need-of-sleep-tired; it was the kind of tired someone looked when they had been fighting for their lives. 

Linda had cried when she woke up. She cried of pain and fear and guilt. Danny held her hand, told her it’d be okay, and that he loved her. 

It wasn’t until she was moved to her own room that Frank finally showed up. She wasn’t sure what had changed between the two of them, but something had. She was polite as she always was, thanked the family for being concerned, and sent them on their way. She had no idea of the fight that was going to break out between Erin, Frank, and Danny. 

************

Guilt was a nasty thing. It manifested out of self hate and self blame until it consumed him. He immediately kicked himself the first time he yelled at her, but he walked away nonetheless. That ill-placed guilt was what got him angry at her for going back to work. 

“How can you go back to the place where you were shot?”

“The same way you go back to work after you’ve been beaten half to death.” Her voice was annoyed and almost sarcastic. “The same way anybody does. Get back on the horse!”

“What?”

“Never mind. I’m late.”

Neither of them had said “I love you” that morning, and as the weeks went by, “I love you” was becoming a scarcely used term in their house. 

Danny was becoming mean towards his wife. He’d call her names and tell her she was wrong. It wasn’t until she asked him for help that he realized he was doing it. He saw what would become of them if he didn’t straighten his act. 

That night, he apologized to her. Danny told her he was the one living in fear, not her. She so easily forgave him, and he had to wonder what kind of Angel was sent to him. 

“Stop doing that.” Danny stood from the couch. 

“Doing what?” Linda almost sounded scared. 

“Stop being so damn perfect. I’ve been a total ass to you, a bully even!... and you’re willing to forgive and forget? Just like that?”

Linda shrugged and simply stated, “I love you.”

That was when he softened and sat next to her again. “I love you more.”

“I love you most.” She kissed him again, happy to be getting back to the way they were. 

From there on out, Danny took a few minutes every day to thank God for sending Linda into his life. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be walking on this earth if she hadn’t walked into his life those many years ago.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, the thing about having completed drafts in your draft stash is that you want to post them all. I have five or four more finished, and lots are wips. After this one, I’m going to *probably* limit it to one update/post a day.


End file.
